OMG_uni_Yamakasi_amazmentDopamine Highway

and dating

 

 

She drugged me!  It’s not like she slipped me a Roofie.  It wasn’t quite that sinister.  But still, the chemical release of dopamine is a powerful manipulator that can be held responsible for every relationship I’ve ever hypnotically entered like an addict tipping into an opium den.  I’ll just have one more hit and then get back to work.  Yeah right.

It’s the Dopamine highway baby.  It’s faster than speed, trippy-er than acid, happier than ecstasy, funnier than mushrooms, and basically free.  The detox is another story.  Watch that relationship pothole.  Swerving.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m actually big on monogamy.  I’m big on all sexual arrangements as long as they involve sex.  But, sometimes I try to stay single for a couple of years here or there.  Okay, that’s a total fucking lie.  Sometimes I can’t find the perfect mate so I am relegated to dating.

I like dating.  I can be a courtship whore.  And it’s a nearly impossible existence to maintain simply because of that Dopamine drug that releases crazy expressions from my mouth when I’m simply trying to order another sake.  I’ll be thinking, do I want hot sake or cold sake?  It’s cold outside, so warm would be great but the cold sake is a finer quality, and instead I’ll say, “Will you move in with me?”  Granted, I might have had a few drinks before that, and that combined with dopamine is like a romance speedball.  I think this is the way most marriages come to fruition.  Someone just couldn’t access the right words, and with all the brain chemicals colliding and re-arranging themselves upon exiting the revolving door of the cerebral cortex, the sentence “Fuck it, let’s get married,” falls like silverware all over the floor.  You can’t really pretend you didn’t say it because of the inevitable mess and racket.  Suddenly you’re hooked up and kids will be the next brain chemical mix-up.

Dating several girls at once can be confusing because they will invariably have different names and preferences.  Some lesbians don’t think its ethical to have sex with several different partners during a certain dating quarter.  I’ve always thought that was the definition of dating.

Here are a few lesbian dating definitions:

A) Having sex with as many women as possible in any given dating quarter.

B) Waiting for someone to ask you out.

C) Going out to dinner, a film, and then home for some much-anticipated sex.  Followed by breakfast and a friends borrowed truck to help move your date into your already cramped one bedroom apartment.

D) We never dated, we were friends for years and one day thought, why the heck not, we’re both voracious readers.

The murky RULES and DEFINITIONS of dating (lesbians)

Going out- A term used to downplay any seriousness when dating a new acquaintance.  This term implies there will be no sex until a later, (SEE Never) time.  You can “go out” with as many people as you want at the same time.  You may quit seeing her without much advanced notice.  When she later becomes popular, you can tell everyone you used to “go out” with her.  She will deny it.

Hanging out- A phrase to describe when one person likes the other more.  No one gets hurt.  The relationship was doomed from the start.  Neither of you is wolf-like enough to make the first move.  Two bunnies sliding backwards across the ice.

Dating- this is one of those words that has so many meanings it’s rendered meaningless. Often times we drive away from dinner in separate cars.  You know you have a scrape on your right rear bumper?

Dating Exclusively- Two dating snobs who can’t commit to each other, but are definitely too good for everyone else.

Fuck Buddies- Friends who love to play Scrabble, but always forget to bring the set.

As a vast hyperbole, lesbians don’t know how to date.  The high from Dopamine creates a craving so intense that people seek to satisfy it by joining with one another, oblivious to the fact that dopamine requires a constant state of “wanting” to release more of the chemical into the system.  When you satiate the desire by initiating a union, you extinguish the buzz.  So in theory, the more you can maintain distance and a state of unrequited desire, the higher you feel.  Thus the genius of dating is its allowance for soaring highs, followed by a heavy detox, then repeat.  But maybe drugs are over-rated.